I sometimes use my blog as an outlet to express my thoughts that I have a hard time talking about. I hope you will allow me to do this today, as I can’t seem to shake some of the events I have heard the last week that involved innocent girls my age dying.
Before I tell the stories, the reason I am writing this post is not to be philosophical. I am writing it because I sometimes feel guilty that I complain of the most trivial nonsense and I then let that linger in my after-thoughts. Last week, was a very hard week for me- it was hard because I had deadlines on my blog to meet, had a tough work week, had sick children, had a migraine- yada…yada..yada. I told you that it was all trivial in respect but nonetheless, I drowned myself in Ben & Jerry’s and felt sorry for myself.
Then I wake up the next morning to hear the tragic story of a girl (slightly less in age than me) who was veering off the highway at the exit to my house. She was 9 months pregnant and a big SUV-type truck was driving behind her. The driver of the truck claimed to have looked down to find his wallet that he dropped, and rammed into her going 50 mph while she was at a complete stop. Needless to say, she died and left behind a beautiful baby boy, who was born on the same day she died. The paramedics kept her alive long enough to be able to perform a c-section, and then her body shut down. This was her first child.
I remember I was thinking was how unfair this all was. Here was a girl, who was set to live a brand new life as a new mom, and she had her life ended so tragically. I went to sleep that night thinking about it and have not stopped since. Then a few days, ago another story surfaced on the news, with again young adults (my age) tragically losing their lives.
I attended an event last Thursday in Newport with some of my Rhode Island friends. It was an extremely foggy night and I remember telling my friend to make sure she drives very carefully, as it was hard to see. We arrived home safely that night. The very next morning, I receive a call that three girls- all 39- were killed in a car wreck right at the very same spot that I drove the night before. The cause of the car crash was them accidentally driving their car into the harbor and drowning. The cause: fog.
So, over the past week, I just can’t shake these feelings of how life is so short and can be taken from us in a moment’s instance. I have made a promise to myself to make sure I live each day to the fullest and I vow you all to do the same too. It is really important to make sure we don’t get hung up over the trivial circumstances in our lives and not let them invade our minds. Make sure you tell your children and significant others how much you love them. Do it everyday even if you are rushing out the door that day. Make it a priority to celebrate the joy of life we have all been given and relish our time on this earth. Do what we set out to achieve and lead a happy, fulfilled life.
I know I am changing my whole mentality of how much I used to dwell over the littlest problems. I am not doing that anymore… I want to be happy and live life to the fulfillest.
I am not sure what I am truly getting out of this post but I do feel better writing it, as it has been eating at me for the past few days. I have had trouble sleeping thinking of all these stories, so I wanted to write about it, for some closure and to allow myself to grieve for these women, even if I didn’t know them, and move on to try to really cherish life. Thank you for allowing me share.
Those are good reminders for sure!
Hugs. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree. I know how short life is and I try to make sure I live my life. But I do dwell on the things that I consider crap. xoxo
jenn mcnary says
its true. life is short. too short to get upset over trivial issues. i know this because i have two sons with a terminal illness, duchenne muscular dystrophy. though we never know when we will die, it certainly makes things even harder she your children have an expiration date. so, yes, thank you for your post reminding everyone to not only live each day fully, but also to be grateful for the little things
allyson bossie says
IT’s sad but ironic that when we are feeling the sorriest for ourselves that something really puts it into perspective. I have been having just the hardest time with my 13 year old who is on a mission to go to hell in a hand basket. I am not being dramatic. It’s like I don’t even know the darling I birthed and raised. As you can imagine it breaks my heart trying to fight for his future while he is set on ruining the now and forever. However, remembering that my cousin who is my age lost her 13 year old a year ago to suicide makes me remember to cherish even the hard times because he could very well not even be here for me to fight for! Every moment is important and can never be relived. Thanks for reminding us of his!
Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says
What sad events to happen. Good points!
I got goose bumps!in a bad way. I can’t imagine nnot getting to see my first child, or any children. How incredibly sad. We aren’t promised tomorrow, and your right we need to cherish every moment.
Nicole (Mama to 4 Blessings) says
Everyday God gives us with our little ones is a treasure and a blessing.
Definitely a good reminder. It’s hard to understand why tragic events such as those happen, but it just makes me hug my family tighter.
Those are very sad events, all of the families will be in my prayers. But you are so right. I hate that it sometimes takes something so tragic happening in order for it to slap you back to reality and remember to be thankful for everything that you have. Thanks for sharing mama, I know you’ve probably opened many eyes by doing so!
I tried to write a post about this several times. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven on Washington Street, and over to Goat Island (my brother is getting married at the Hyatt next year). Every time I break into tears. I don’t know the girls, and it still has effected me greatly 🙁 When I woke up to the news on Newport Buzz, I immediately started texting every girlfriend and family member up in RI. It’s crazy to think how something so tragic can happen in just seconds 🙁
I saw the story about the women in Newport who died, I couldn’t believe it. So tragic, so unfortunate. It is tough to think that life can change so quickly.
Thank you for posting about this and helping us all realize that we aren’t untouchable.
You are not the only one! Everyday I think about how lucky we are as a family to have our health, our lives, our jobs, etc. Life is so short and you never know which day may be your last. I know I may sound weird, but every time I leave the house, I kiss my husband and daughter goodbye and tell them how much I love them. I don’t say “it’s because I could die while I’m out” but in the back of my mind I do think about how accidents can happen at any point and I don’t want to regret anything (if only I had said ‘I love you,” etc).
Trisha G. says
That is so sad =( It really is important to cherish each day. I know I try my best to spend as much time with my family as possible, especially my daughter. I completely know how you feel though, sometimes I let things like that eat at me also.
Two Dudes and a Diva says
Life is too short. Thank you for writing!
Amber Edwards says
Thankyou for the gentle reminder. It was definitely a difficult weekend. My uncle also passed away this weekend, and even though he was elderly and has been sick for a while; it still doesn’t make it any easier to bare. Even when we know life will be ending soon, it is hard to manage. And even worse is when we leave things unsaid or undone. This last year and a half I’ve had a 7 year old niece, 20 year old nephew, 48 year old sister and now a 60+ year old uncle pass away. You never know when it will be your last time seeing someone. Life is very short, and you always must make the moments count. Never leave someone with angry words. Always express your love. make the moments count.
One of the events that changed my life this year was a local girl, only 5 years old, she was diagnosed with an untreatable brain tumor and passed just 4 days later (my kids go to school with the girl’s sisters). Life changes so quickly. Every day I think about this little girl and how fast she was gone, and I cherish every day. Seize moments and be grateful for those you have.
Amanda Tempel says
That’s so sad 🙁 my prayers go out to her and her family.
I think we all complain about trivial things. I have a lot going on right now, and I think back to last week, and I’m telling myself “wow, I can’t believe I was upset because I couldn’t find a shirt. I wish that’s all it was.” But even if I do get mad, I know I’ve lived a pretty nice life thus far. And I know that when it’s my time to go, I’ll have my grandpa up there waiting for me 🙂
I try to make every day count, and since losing my grandpa, I always think before I say something I might regret. That’s the biggest for me, because I couldn’t live with myself knowing I said something mean, or nasty about something stupid, about grandma misplacing something, that she didn’t mean to misplace.
Danielle Royalegacy says
You never know when God will call us home. I thank God that the child will have a chance at life. How very sad at the tragic loss of the other lives.
I remember when I had my last child by a c-section. The anesthesiologist had given me too much of the xylocaine and the numbness was going up through my chest and into my arms. I could hardly breathe. I remember thanking God that I was able to hear my baby cry for the first time, and I also felt sorry for him that he would grow up without his mother. Needless to say, I am still here.;) But I do feel for all those children that have to grow up without a mother.
sean marie says
Oh Melissa, that is so tragic. I am so sad for this woman and her family. That poor baby is going to grow up without his mom because people can’t pay attention the road in front of them. My heart aches so bad for them. We all always say how fragile life is and how quickly it can be taken from us but the sad truth is there isn’t a whole lot we can do to prevent something this awful from occuring. Others actions are beyond our control.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opening up to us.
So sad and tragic. Sometimes I think we are “softy” reminded that life is short and so fragile. Those reminders are hard to grasp and take in but in the end so worth it.
Thanks for sharing and giving me a soft reminder of how blessed I am.
Kristin Wheeler (MamaLuvsBooks) says
It is so hard when these tragic things happen. Really puts life in perspective. No ones has guarantees and no one knows how long they will be here. You have to live each day to the fullest!
This post serves as a great reminder to all of us Melissa! Life is short, we need to value and appreciate the time we have. Hugs to you! xoxo
Sarah @ It's a Vol! says
Hugs my friend. These are truly sad and tragic stories. Thank you for the reminder of my blessings and for the reminder that I am lucky for every day on this earth.
I know exactly what you are saying. Last year my Mom and sister’s hairstylist went in to have her baby and she died. She had preeclampsia that they missed and they just couldnt save her. HEr little boy lived. It was strange because my Mom kept telling her that she really looked swollen (my mom is a nurse) and if they checked her levels. My Mom felt terrible and was devastated and so was my sister. I didn’t even know the woman but that story and really changed my thinking. I have some health problems that can be very annoying, but I learned that I am actually very lucky and that event changed my thinking about how I live my life. So sorry you had a terrible week and many prayers to all that have been affected in the tragedies. Its so sad.
Wow this is so sad. So many deaths. It hurts to hear of someone that will never know their mother. And all by car accidents. I know what you mean by live everyday to your fullest. Sometimes it seems like life goes of so fast.
Oh my goodness. Reminders like that are…so sad. I am reminded quite often to live life to the fullest and cherish all those that I love…and yet…I still forget in the daily trials.
You’re right though.
Thanks for that.
Anastasia @ eco-babyz says
Wow, yes, sometimes we need reminders. I think about it often, that we really can go any time and I want to make every moment count. I want to yell at my kids less, kiss my husband more, not rush, buy less stuff and spend more quality AND quantity time with people. I think it is even more important in our modern age because this generation and those after us are so focused on stuff, money, trivial things, without realizing how short life is and what is truly important!
So tragic so sorry for your loss! 🙁 very wise words
Those are very important things to remember. Unfortunately something happened in my life to make me realize that as well.
I am so sorry for the families. It’s unbelievable how quickly life can change and how focused we can all be on what, in retrospect, is really not important at all.
My Mother in law and a terrific friend both just passed away. The main take away I have from losing them and missing them the why of it…is that we are not made for the temporal but for the eternal. I will see them again in heaven and I need to be focused here on earth on what Christ would have me do. How He would have me treat others, speak the truth in love and be of service, simply to be His hands and feet.
How quickly I forget and again get busy putting my desires above others and acting selfishly. Thank you for the reminder of how precious and short our days are.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
We all dwell on trivial things at one time or another in our lives. The best that could happen to anyone is realize that there is no need to sweat on the small things, because they are small after all. I often forget to simply live fully and to stop stressing over useless things. Thanks for the reminder to simply let go off what is holding us back and live to the fullest.
How scary…and sad. You’re right though, it’s important to remember the important things in life. Life is too short to fret over the little things in life!
Thanks for all your thoughtful comments!