Let me preface this by saying, I was debating writing this post. While I want to tell my readers what happened, the girl who was not nice to Hayley, mom is a dear friend of mine as well as fellow blogger. We still remain the best of friends and I know she is supportive of me telling the story, so others can hear, that situations like this can happen even at a young age. For this post, I will be calling the friend, Friend X, to conceal all identities.
Friend X and Hayley are good friends. They have played together the last few years and basically got along. However, when Friend X gets together with their other Friend Y, they seem to leave Hayley out. I have noticed this in the past at a play dates but I never really said anything, because it never bothered Hayley. Friend X and Friend Y were never in Hayley’s class until now.
I went to pick up Hayley from school last week and she was upset. When I asked Hayley what was wrong, she said she asked to play with Friend X and Friend Y, but they told her that don’t want to play with her and to leave them alone. They said this over and over to her. I told Hayley in the car, to just go and play with other people, but as a mom, this really upset me. I called up Friend X mom and told her what happened. She said she would talk to her daughter and make sure she includes Hayley in school. After all, they are 4- they should all be attempting to play together.
The next day, we along with a few other moms, went to the playground. I saw Friend X and Friend Y playing in the baseball field. Hayley went over to play and I witnessed everything. Hayley approached them, and Friend X said “Get away Hayley… Don’t ever come near us”. Hayley said she just wanted to play and Friend X said, “We don’t want to play with you. Get away from us”. I had tears in my eyes but more than anything I was infuriated. I went up to Friend X in a very nice motherly manner and asks her to not be rude to Hayley and if they wanted to ever get together again, they needed to play nicely with Hayley. After that, I saw Hayley was tearing up so we left the playground.
On the way home, Hayley was crying. I felt so bad for her. She is one of the sweetest children and I know, she felt bad with the way they acted towards her. Honestly, I could not blame her. I decided to call Friend X mother and tell her how this was hurting my daughter. Friend X mom was so apologetic and told me, that she has no idea why she acted like this. Friend X mom told me she was going to read up on bullying and talk to her daughter about it. It was awkward calling Friend X mom about this, but I know, it needed to be done. I also told Friend X mom that if Friend X continued to act like that, we could no longer to play dates.
About 3 hours later, Friend X mom called me and asked me if she could bring Friend X over to see Hayley. I said absolutely. Upon her arrival, Friend X apologized, painted Hayley a picture, and gave her a rose to tell Hayley how very sorry she was. I was deeply moved. I hope Friend X realized (and I think she did) that by saying words that are hurtful, it can greatly effect another person. I am also grateful for my good friend for realizing the magnitude of the issue and taking matters in her own hand. I know that if it ever happens again (and I hope it doesn’t), that I can readily call my friend and let her know what is going on. My hope is this is isolated incidents and life between the two of them will go on smoothly.
Friend X is a great person, I just think she didn’t realize how she was hurting another person. I truly believes she does now, so I hope this will be the end of the story here.
Have your kids ever acted like this or were on the recipient end of it? How did you handle it?