Life with 2 kids- 9 months in! How am I doing? Any PPD?

I remember writing a post when Zane was 3 months old trying to figure out how I was doing with two kids at that stage.  At that time, I thought having 2 kids was easier than 1 kid. Well, today at 9 months old, I can honestly say, for me, going from 1-2 kids was a much easier transition than going from 0-1 kids.
When I had Hayley, I had some serious undiagnosed PPD that lingered for the first 13 months of Hayley’s life. I solely breastfed and I had some issues with it. I had a little birdy in my ear telling me if I didn’t continue to breastfeed for at least 1 year that I was a bad mom.  I had anxiety to the nth degree. I couldn’t eat.  I couldn’t sleep! I watched the minutes ticking away till my husband could relieve me of the duties of taking care of this little person. To top it off, Hayley was a terror. She has to be one of the best toddlers today but boy, did she give me a run for my money as a baby. Imagine hearing a kid cry for 24 hours a day for 7 days a week. Now times that by 3 months, and you will begin to feel for me. Having just Hayley was so hard for me. My whole lifestyle changed. I was the spur of the moment person and I realized that having a kid meant that the scheduling of your life had to somewhat change. We could not just pick up and go to New York on a random weekend. We had Hayley to think about. I don’t think we realized this until we actually had her.
It was such a hard adjustment for me when Hayley was born. I cried A LOT!! The summer of 2010, I went away to Hawaii and came home to find out that I was pregnant with Zane. I know this is going to sound bad but I shed a lot of tears. I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure I could handle another child in the mixture. I was finally getting used to having a child and loving her with all my might. Would I go back to the dreadful colicky stage? Would I enjoy any of the newborn stages? Would I like having another child? Would I cry all the time?
Zane was born in March 2011 and the transition has been perfect.  My kids are exactly 2.5 years apart to the day and I love the age difference. Hayley is the sweetest sister and is my little helper. When Zane came along, I think G-D laughed at me. Zane is one of the easiest children with a fantastic temperament. He smiles all day and is just plain awesome! As great as he is, though, I think my demeanor is such a factor in my happiness. I am not a nervous nelly anymore. Although some people might not agree, I have no schedule for Zane. I wanted it like this because I didn’t want to obsess (like I did with Hayley) with having to be home at 9 am and 1 pm on the dot. If he misses his morning nap, I don’t fret. If he ends up sleeping in the car, no big deal to me. My big motto is to not stress. It works for me!
I really feel like I am a brand new mom the second time around. Not so much in not knowing what I am doing, but rather, in the way I let motherhood effect me. I smile all the time now and am just so happy with my family. Having 2 kids for me has been a breeze. There was no adjustment for me the second time around. Maybe it is his temperament, maybe it is mine – who knows, but I will say that I am finding two kids much easier. Now, I am asking my husband for a third in a few years. He laughs because I was the one who couldn’t think she could raise two kids. Go figure!

So, for all you with kids – how was the transition for you? For those with multiple kids, do you agree with me or do you find having multiple kids harder? I would love to hear! 

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  1. Tethered Mommy says

    I'm glad you're finding Zane's babyhood less stressful for you. I think with #2 I forgot to enjoy those baby moments like I did with #1 since she was the only worry at that point.

  2. Cari says

    I got super lucky w. Bre….she is so easy goin smiley and rarely cranky except for teething/tired moments!

  3. Mama Luvs Books says

    Great job! Ours were opposite. Awesome baby first time around and now the hard one. It's definitely making it so we will not be on the road to three kids. =( Zane is the best! If I could guarantee a Zane for my husband it might happen, but there are no guarantees!!!

  4. Michelle says

    going from one to two is pretty easy. my girls are 19 months apart and i do miss the getting up and going and that was easier with one kid vs two but I'm now 8 months pregnant and extremely nervous to go from two to three!!!

  5. Krista says

    it was very rough going from 0-1 kid for sure. and karina was/is a super easy baby and started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old. but it's still hard adjusting and she is almost 1.
    we are iffy about trying for number 2 because karina is so awesome we are sure if we have another it will be a demon child :)

  6. The Shopping Duck says

    My first child was soooo easy. My second, was hard. Fortunately, the third was easy again. My kids are spread out (5 years) so it was like starting all over again!

  7. SavingsInSeconds says

    Oh your children are so precious! I love that picture. Your experience is much different from mine!! I had a hard time with my firstborn until she was about 2 months old, then it was easy going. She was an angel child, and still is….very compliant and sweet, always wanting to please. My second (a little boy) has been a stinker from the beginning. When he was about two weeks old, I remember thinking that I will NEVER need ANYTHING enough to take both kids out of the house at the same time. Ha! It is definitely better now, but I don't think I could work in a third!

  8. Sheri Carpenter says

    I have 3 kids and the transition was really weird with the youngest. My oldest who is my daughter wanted to be his mother lol ( she as 5 when he was born) and my middle son hated him ( they are 2 years apart) so I had quite a time on my hands. Kids don't come with a manual – we just do the best we can to raise them right and keep them safe. You are doing great- don't ever think you are not a good mom – we all learn as we go.

  9. Mommy's Sippy Cup says

    This actually gives me hope. I am scared to death to have a second bc I've had such a hard time with my first. He's 2 and now with all of the new stages going on, I sometimes feel like I'm starting over.It's nerve wrecking and I feel at times I'm alone. I'm really glad to know however, that I'm not the only one.

    So glad to hear that everything is going good :)

  10. Candice says

    This really makes me feel better about being ready to have another baby. Even though G is 14 months, I've started to think about how it would be to have 2. I think I will be LESS regimented with the second also. The first time around with G and the nursing, I had lists and schedules and was also racing around trying to meet this crazy schedule I had forced onto myself. Thanks so much for sharing! :)

  11. Melissa + Tiffany @ Home Grown Families says

    Going from 1-2 was the hardest for me- after that it was barely a change. I have 4 :)

  12. Still Blonde after all these YEARS says

    So glad that number 2 was not number one or you would have never been ready!

  13. Candice says

    We only have 1 , but I agree it was definitely a hard transition. Being a parent is completely life changing. It's nolonger about you, but it's such a wonderful blessing :)

  14. Working Mom says

    What a wonderful post. I have two kids (one by birth and one by inheritance) but for me it's often just as easy having one as two.

  15. royalegacy says

    My first child was such a handful. She always wanted to be held. No matter how gently I would lay her in her crib, she would wake herself up, and want to be held some more. My second was so much more easier. I would put her down, she would look at me, and then just close her eyes and go to sleep. After that, it was all down hill with the last four.

  16. Kay M says

    Melissa, I am so happy you found your 'zone'. Your temperament has so much to do with your childrens temperament. I think that is something alot of moms out there need to realize. Hayley's babyhood being so rough was probably because she felt it from you. They feed off mom for so much when they are infants, in so many ways!
    You have a beautiful family, and you deserve to be happy!

  17. Jenn/Organic Mama says

    Way to go, Mama! I'm SO glad you are finding life with 2 a breeze, especially after all that went on after Hayley! XO

  18. {K} says

    That's awesome that your second has been so easy for you! I had a hard time adjusting to motherhood with my first. After my second was born I had PPD for a few months. Now that they're both toddlers we have our easy days and our more difficult days. I still want to go for #s 3 & 4 but not for a while.. :)

  19. Myndee says

    Mine was the opposite- Kadence was easy peasy. So much so, that my H and I would argue about who could hold her or even change her diaper!! Yea, you read that right. Gavin was more high maintenance, and I definitely had some undiagnosed PPD going on. Things are still crazy, but better…I'll let you know how I survive 3, because Dylan is coming any day now!

  20. Lacey from The Southern Mommy Chronicles says

    So far, it's been great but we're only 10 days in :) it has helped a lot that S has only been gone to work 3 of those days and 1 day was spent with my mom and she came over for a different afternoon for a few hours as well so I've not really been left alone with Vera a whole lot. We'll see how the next month plays out though!

  21. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    So happy it's going well for you! I had PPD after the twins and for 6 months it was really rough. I definitely don't miss those days. Much. Newborns are really cute though ;-)

  22. Jamie says

    So happy for you that this transition has been easy. I worry a lot about it. My daughter was really hard too.

  23. Jamie L. says

    great post! Happy New Year friend!

    The transition was pretty easy, but I think my kids being 7 years apart made a big difference. I am definitely itching for #3 though…

  24. Kass says

    I remember the days when Aiden was brand new. I was afraid to leave the house because I got nervous that he would start crying and I wouldn't be able to calm him down. Towards the end of my maternity leave I did go out more with him, but for the first month I didn't leave the house. I too watched the clock and Seth & I fought a lot in the beginning. Once I fingured things out it was hard still because we did stick to a schedule with Aiden and he really needed that structure. He was an easy going baby, however he did nap wherever and whenever. Which was great. Rebecca on the other hand as easy going as she is and has been from the start, just will not nap unless she is either home or she knows the place and if she misses that first nap of the day then the rest of the day is kind of shot because she will sleep crappily for rest of the day. She is totally a creature of habit and she has set that up all herself. I took her everywhere from the beginning, but she likes what she likes. I will agree that going from 1-2 kids was A LOT easier then 0-1. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we know exactly what we are doing now.

  25. Heather from Our Girls Keep Us Moving says

    Once again, we live in the (somewhat) same world. Transition from 0-1 was WAY harder than 1-2. We had a nightmare of breastfeeding experience (which we eventually overcame), she was a tough baby! Natalie is pretty easy going (except the not sttn yet). I am much more relaxed this time around. Great post! Hard to believe the babies will be one soon!!

  26. Raycillient says

    So happy for you that this transition has been easy. Makes me much more confident now to try for baby #2. This is a great post! a lot of insights and views especially beneficial for new moms and moms who are going to go for another baby. Merci Beaucoup!

  27. Yankee Texan Mom says

    My situation is a little different. When I married my husband, he came to the marriage with two children who we have on certain weekends/holidays. After we got married, we had our daughter. Now Gwenny is approaching 4, Samantha is nearly 13 and Dillon is on his way to 17. It was really hard for me to shift gears from 0 to 2 children, then from 0 to 1 and 2 to 3 depending on what day of the week it was! I think I've finally learned some balance, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I struggled once in awhile!

  28. brit says

    Your time with Hayley sound so much like mine with Torin! I really want a 2nd child, but I'm so nervous about repeating all of the stress I've been through with the 1st. Hopefully my second baby will be like Zane. =)

  29. Brandi says

    I'll let you know soon how the transition is for me. :)

    I was also a nervous nelly with Marlee at the beginning. She was an easy baby, BUT the first night I brought her home she used me a as a human pacifier, and I got about 2 hours of sleep. Starting out like that, made me such a crazy person I cried and cried the next day. Then I would do alright during the day, but at night (and I had her in Jan, so of course it got dark at 5) I would become a nervous wreck because I was scared I wasn't going to get any sleep again, and return to the crazy person of the first week. I do worry about that having this little one.

  30. Felissa Hadas says

    Sounds like things are settling in around your house pretty well now. Glad things were easier with number 2.

  31. says

    Hi Mellisa,

    My second was fine, but watch out when you go for number three..I got number 3 and 4 at the same time! There were some crazy emotions attached to the news. Everything had to change, for example, most cars only fit 5 people and we were about to be 6. I literally had to move out of my house while I was pregnant because I ran a family day care and I was put on bed rest. Everything was worth it when we each had a baby to hold at the same time;0

  32. Nicole @ Some Call It Natural says

    I'm happy it is all easy for you! I don't remember it being bad going from 1 to 2, but going from 2 to 3 was HARD!!!!

  33. Samantha says

    I think that you are such a great mom! Going from 0-1 for me was a pretty easy transition, so much so, that I am petrified to add another. {But, I honestly can't wait!}
    This post gives me hope! Lol.
    And as always, Hayley and Zane are AH-dorable!

  34. LOVE MELISSA:) says

    Thank you so much everyone! I actually read all the comments again tonight. I love hearing about all the difference experiences and advice. I greatly appreciate it!!

  35. ~C~ says

    Mine are 14 months apart. I was also upset and scared when I found out I was pregnant. It was definitely a big adjustment, but it was manageable. Having 2, 14 months apart, has been really hard. Beautiful moments, sure. But it has been damn hard. I think if mine were further apart, the transition would have been easier. Great post.

  36. Kim says

    Great post!! We are going to be TTC again in about a month and I am so nervous about the transition from one to two kids. You make it sound so easy!

  37. Jackie says

    Well my oldest son is 18 and my youngest is 2 1/2. Yes, there is a 15 year age gap and no the second was not an "accident". I love both of my sons but wow what a difference in personalities!

  38. KERRY says

    You poor thing, that time of your life sounded pretty rough but thankfully the 2nd time around it was a lot easier! You were not a bad mum for feeling the way you did, everyone copes differently and it is certainly a huge transition to find you are having a child for the first time. Even after 3, there is no book to tell me how to do things. But the secret of my success, like you said, is to not stress the small things ie schedule. I believe children are a reflection of their parents, if you're calm and easy going, generally the kids are too unless they have a reason or an illness. I'm just speaking from my point of view. Going from 2 to 3 for me was a breeze, Liam has just fit right in, I have to remind myself at times that I actually was pregnant and gave birth this past year lol
    Glad to hear you are doing so well nowadays xo

  39. Kat says

    Going from one to two was a challange for me but adding in a third was a breeze. You have both hands taken with two because you only have two hands, lol. So why not add a third into the mix? I think the hardest part was that I had two in diaper's at the same time and since I had three girls I thought for sure that I could just pass clothes on down. Nope! Didnt happen! Joke on me they all had different personality types and body shapes! You have adorable kid's! Happy New Year:)

  40. Andrea says

    I loved this post! It always scares me to think of adding another, even as much as I do want one! I think 2.5 years is perfect, that is what we are hoping for! I have to say though, this totally made me feel better lol.

  41. Natalie says

    I think we all have ideas on how our lives will be once we have kids…and then BAM they totally blow that out of the water. I'm glad you are just letting things happen and not letting things stress you out :)

  42. Naked Mommy says

    I can totally relate to your whole post! My first was sooo hard (7 months of shrieking and hardly sleeping due to severe GERD) and she continues to be a difficult, extremely jealous toddler; I had PPD but didn't know that's why I was miserable so didn't get help til 8 months after my 2nd was born. My 2nd was born when my first was 20 months old and like yours, is a super easy, happy baby. We are so lucky!!!!! Seriously, for quite a while I thought we were gonna be a one-kid family. Glad it's going smoothly and you can think about baby #2. : ) We're done but enjoying it.


    What a wonderful post, Melissa. So pure, honest, and true! :) Thanks for sharing! You know I only have the one kid, however, the transition was pretty good for me. He is a super easy kid to deal with. I will let you know how if the transition is that easy when I have baby number 2. Ha ha. I have missed you. I promise to show up on your blog more often. Happy New Year!

  44. Carissa says

    Sorry I'm so late commenting :) I never experienced PPD, and can't imagine, my first was pretty easy. Now that we have 2, I find that we are soo busy, and never a dull moment. Wyatt is also an easy baby so we have been very blessed. It's funny because our kids are so close in age, mine are a little further apart, 2 years and 10 months, but I definitely think that helps! Not to mention, I think we do know what we're doing a little bit more by the second one. You can see the happiness in your kids pictures, good job momma :)!!

  45. Maria says

    i love your honesty, melissa!!
    i've had a few friends with children that cry and cry and cry in their first year and i imagine, it's not easy!! i don't judge you at all for feeling overwhelmed. i admire you and your honesty.
    you're a rockin' mama and i know zane and hayley know it each day!!
    love the new year photo of them!!

  46. Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! says

    I'm glad everything is going well! I honestly think it gets easier with each additional child. The transition from 0-1 was easy for me, it was even easier going from 1-2, and going from 2-3 is the easiest transition yet!