Moms, I need desperate help in the sleep department with my daughter!

I thought I would blog about the problems I am having with Hayley’s sleep in the hopes that someone can help me out. Both my husband and I are functioning on a few hours of sleep at night and the culprit is not my boy (who is 10 months old) but rather Hayley (who is almost 3.5 years old).

Let me start by giving you some background. As most of you know, my daughter was born with a very traumatic labor. After a very stressful labor and an emergency Csection, Hayley was born only to be a NICU baby for a day and an half. She failed her apgar test miserably and was having a plethora of breathing problems. When things finally settled, we were able to bring her home. What we didn’t know, is she would have terrible colic which led to her crying for the first four months of her life. During this time, our only reprieve was she slept through the night at 10 weeks. She cried most of the day, so by the time night rolled around, she was zonked and proceeded to sleep 10-12 hours a night.

Once her colic resolved and she was a happy baby, she stopped STTN. Once we finally got some peace during the day, she decided that she was not going to give us any sleep. I was at my wits end because I just dealt with 4 long months of misery (not just for me but for her as well). That is when my husband and I decided at around 5 months, we would do a modified sleep training method. Lucky for us, it worked brilliantly and she began to sleep 12 hours a night.

Well, all was well and dandy, until about 6 weeks ago. Hayley at that point was still in a crib so we decided to switch to a big girl bed in the hopes of her STTN again. We were wrong- no difference was seen. The problem lies in the fact that she wakes us up several times a night. When we go in, she seems to be still in a sleep trance. We tell her everything is fine and to go back to bed. She does but only to wake us up about an hour or two later. Again, she is in a sleep trance. If we don’t go in, she is hysterical and I am afraid she is going to wake up her brother.

I also began to think of her naps and if this perhaps was interrupting her night sleep. We knew when she napped, she would end up calling out for us till around 11 pm but then she would sleep till 9 am the next morning without waking up.  I tried eliminating her nap, in the hopes that she would sleep much earlier than 11 pm. This is when all our problems started. She would pass out around 8:30 pm but then her nightly cries would start around 2 pm and continue through the night. I almost rather her nap and fall asleep at 11, than be woken up many times at night.

Again, this problem has been going on 6 weeks now. I know around this age, they do get scared of things and begin to get nightmares. I understand that but it can’t possibly be night terrors or nightmares for 6 weeks straight every night . The only thing that is good is she is not at all cranky. The girl doesn’t need a lot of sleep. However, her parents, need sleep especially when they both work and have another child to take care of.  Lucky for us, our son, is a wonderful sleeper. I  do have to add that she  truly is a terrific toddler- smart, well versed, kind, and lovable! If it wasn’t for the horrendous sleep problems, we would be all set!

So, this is where I need your help. Did anyone ever go through this? What did you do about it? I welcome all suggestions and Thank you in advance!

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  1. Anu says

    Have you tried letting her co-sleep in your bed? It worked with my daughter. Other thing I can think of is cutting down on her liquid intake before bed, but thats in case she has to go pee frequently through the nights.
    Often times it just might be separation anxiety or sibling insecurity, which might settle if she slept in the same room with you. You won't believe my 6 yr old didn't want to sleep alone after I had my 2nd baby.

  2. Kat says

    I was lucky and all mine loved to sleep and had no issues in that area. Maybe just mention it to your pediatrician to see what they suggest and to rule out anything medical. Good luck! :)

  3. Ruth Dennison says

    I would definitely speak with your Pediatrician and see if they can offer some ideas and help. Hope you can find a solution, not only for you, but for her as she needs a good restful night sleep.

  4. Tiffany Drew says

    My son was a horrible sleeper until about age five when the doctor told us to start giving him a small dose of melatonin 20 minutes before bed. He sleeps wonderfully now, it is amazing. He falls asleep easily and wakes up in a great mood. He also doesn't wake up during the night except for on rare occasions. I agree with Kat to talk to your doctor and see what they can do for you. I hope you are able to work it out!

  5. Anonymous says

    I had a very similar issue with my now 5 yr old son just last year when I had my daughter too. Maybe it is a new baby thing or just a coincidence but it was horrible and exhausting. What we did it have him sleep next to us on the couch or in bed a few nights in a row and he didnt wake up and do it in there. After a few nights of a normal slee pattern we put him back in his bed and he slept perfect. I think they get themselves oddly into a messed up routine and it just sticks so if you co sleep a few nights it might resolve that way. GOOD LUCK Jessica Lane Cooper

  6. Julie says

    Wow, the first half of the story is much like mine! I too had a very traumatic labor that ended in a c-section after 40 hours of labor and my son was in the NICU for 3 days! He then developed colic too at 2 weeks which was aweful because he didn't nap at all during the day, and he really isn't much of a napper now either! He did start sleeping through the night at 8 weeks (Thank God)! But he still doesn't really nap!! Can't help on the sleep problems though, maybe ask your doctor and see if they have any advice! Here is a link to my birth story, do you have yours posted somewhere? I love reading birth stories!! Good Luck! Keep us updated!

  7. Felissa Hadas says

    Would maybe leaving on some soothing music (classical or relaxation cd) and lavender scent in the room help keep her calm through the night? Camomile tea before bed too maybe?

  8. Karen says

    Have you taken her to get a physical or exam by her doctor to rule out anything medical? If she was sleeping fine until 6 weeks ago, there could be something going on you don't know about. If she has no medical problem, can you think of anything else that may be new or different. Any new appliances in the house that make different noises? Does she have a nightlight? Does she go to daycare? Are there any new teachers there, or new kids that could be teasing or mean to her?

    I'm thinking 6 weeks ago would have been right around Christmas? Did she get any new toys or dolls that could be scary looking to a child in the dark? Don't laugh–years ago I made dolls for each of my nieces and nephews that had hair and eyes the same color as the child. One of my nieces was so afraid of the doll I made for her that my SIL said she couldn't even keep it in the same room with her. Just giving you some things to think about.

  9. Erika says

    I agree with the others – I think this is a matter for your family doctor or pediatrician. I can imagine my doctor might recommend a small dose of melatonin, which is a natural remedy that works wonders for sleep issues, however that's definitely something that should be run past your doctor for dosing, etc.
    Sorry you are having such a tough time. It's so hard when it involves your rest too, then you feel like you can't think straight.
    Good luck! ((HUGS))

  10. Kristine says

    The only time we've had a sleep issue was after we had a house fire. My DS went through terrible night terrors, and would even wake up in the middle of the night, and decide it was time to wake up for the day. We even had to go through potty training all over again. We made sure we had a really good night time routine in place, and soothed him as much as possible before bed time. We also started therapy. Other than that,we waited it out. He was also an otherwise wonderful child…very pleasant. It was very stressful on all of us…not to mention heart-breaking. I really hope that you get this resolved soon. I know it can be difficult…especially with you both working and having your DS to take care of on top of that. My DS is still a night owl. :)


  11. Still Blonde after all these YEARS says

    I'd start with your pediatrician and a couple of good child sleep books. Yes asking mothers is great but the experts have seen this again and again. For an infant, there is no better technique that I have seen then the Farber technique.

  12. Anonymous says

    My 2yo did the same about 10wks after I had my boy and we had put her in big bed,I found she was missing me doing the bed time routine,I did story tucking in etc for a week along with buying one of those tourch night light things which we have on all night,I swear she was waking every hour al night and had been for over a month.the first night I did whole special her choosing book,reading it with her already in bed and switching the light on she slept through! When my hubby read one night she woke again.I did routine for 2mths and now either of us can read to her.the light is good cause if she wakes she can see her teddy and blankie and goes back to sleep again.hoping maybe some of this can help you…unfortunately my baby boy who's now 8mths still doesn't sleep well :( agree with above comment on new toys being scary,also open doors and drawers.dressing gowns hanging?

  13. gracies horde says

    my elder two were scared of monsters so i put up a homemade poster that read 'mommy monster says no monsters allowed' and i drew in crayon with the children watching a soft cuddly 'mommy monster' on it

    are there new sounds at night? the person who delivers our neighborhoods newspapers at 2-4am desperitly needs a new muffler, there is a train tracks a block away from us – trains about every 2 hours, there is an airport a few miles away 0.o but oh my the noise when a fighter jet starts it's engines with the engines facing us! another block away there are businesses and the city allows trash pick up there at night — large bins/very noisy, and lastly for some odd reason if i leave any voice mails unchecked on my cell it rings at 3:38am to let me know! — silent night it is NOT!

  14. Jessica Cortez says

    Sorry you're having a rough time, sweetie. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you. And not to stir anything up, but I would think talk to your dr. before putting her in bed with you. You may be starting a habit that's going to be really hard to break. Hopefully you'll get answers soon, and that it's just a phase.

  15. Mandee says

    We have been there, and we were told that it was night terrors. Ours started when we moved into a new house and went on for a couple of years. It was awful because he would scream and cry and fight us. We just had to comfort him without waking him. But, I have to tell you about 2 of my other boys, they had something similar, however when they would get squirmy and cry they simply needed to use the bathroom. I would gently scoop them up and take them to the bathroom, they would go basically while still asleep. After going potty they would sleep sound the rest of the night. I hope this helps. Good luck. If you ever want to talk you can find me at

  16. Tessa says

    We ran into an issue sort of like this with Kendall. I was googling and figured out it was night terrors. This age (3.5) is the most common for those to start. Kendall would wake up every hour or so and seem to be in a trance, and then get hysterical like you mentioned. The big thing it mentioned was them being over tired led to it, which is maybe why it got worse when you skipped the naps? I hope she outgrows it quickly!

  17. ape2016 says

    Well, I have a lot of a advice (which of course you can take or leave, lol). I am a nurse and a mother of 3, who has cared for many children over 30 years. First, please, please don't assume that your child does not 'need a lot of sleep'. At her age she should be getting at least 10-12 hours of sleep. Naps are also recommended. It doesn't have to be a long nap, studies have shown that a 20-30 minute nap does wonders. People often think that because their child is so active or isn't having a lot of tantrums that they aren't needing more sleep, but this is wrong. Sleep-deprivation in children presents in many ways and the behavior you describe could be from that. Additionally, she has had a lot of changes lately and that can cause stress that affects her sleep with vivid dreams, night terrors, sleep walking etc. I have experienced these same sleep-issues with children in the past and I had a son that was prone to night terrors. Their pediatricians always agreed with me concerning the cause and either through their suggestions or trial and error I have learned what has worked for many children.

  18. ape2016 says

    Over the years, I have learned that the best way to eliminate sleep issues in small children is through co-sleeping. Some people are either open to the idea or vehemently against it. I know that it has always worked for any child I ever tried it with and that everyone else I know who co-sleeps has benefited from it. Some people can't deal with a child in bed with them because of space or whatever, then having a small cot or bed in the same room is still beneficial. My son could not sleep in the same bed with me because he is a kicker, but he slept on a blow-up mattress next to my bed for a few years. He still had an occasional night terror, but it went from a couple times of night to a couple times a year. A word of warning though, once children start to co-sleep, they don't want to stop. They don't want to give up that close, loving and secure feeling. They will of course give it up on their own when they reach a certain age. In my experience it is between 6 and 8. Think about it- you are an adult and get to have the warmth, security and luxury of sleeping with someone you love, but we expect our kids to sleep alone off in a room by themselves. If you and your spouse are against it (gee, men often are the ones to protest the most about co-sleeping…) then you should really work (and it is work) to consistently provide a set time for a nap (even if she doesn't go to sleep, especially the first few days, she will be getting some quiet time and rest) and then a very consistent bed time ritual. It doesn't matter what time you decide for that to be, just do the same thing each night. Children love repetition and ritual. For instance, my youngest daughter sleeps with me. She usually doesn't go to bed until I do and then we read a couple of stories and either listen to a soothing musical toy or I sing a song or two. When I am dealing with younger children, a warm bath each evening seems to really help them relax and fall asleep, so that is what I would do. Also depending on the child, a light snack before bed helped (milk and a slice of toast or a small bowl of cereal are my go-to.) Then the stories and songs (it really only takes 30 minutes and it is the best 30 minutes of the day). It is very important that the last couple of hours before bed are a calm and soothing wind down to the day. If your house is loud or hectic in the evening, it makes it hard for kids to calm down.Some people will argue that they already have a routine or schedule, but often through closer examination they realize they haven't been adhering to it. Believe me, I know, life makes it easy to let us slip, but the routine goes a long way to helping a child have restful sleep. If your child still can't get proper sleep after you have really tried these things consistently (give it at least 5-10 days), then you need to examine what could be causing additional stress for your child. Some things you can't change (new baby), but some things you can (someone in your house is a yeller or your child has something she is anxious about- clowns, preschool, darkness… .) I wish you good luck and even if nothing really helps, just remember this won't last forever.

  19. Theresa says

    We used a sleep clock for our twins. It has a light that comes on when it is OK for them to leave their room and come get us. Of course, they have each other so loneliness is not an issue but it really helped us. After two nights they stopped trying to come in our room. Sleep issues are so hard for the whole family. Good Luck!

  20. DeDa Studios says

    I agree with many of the other comments…I would seek professional help from your doctor. If there is nothing medically wrong …… I would then try co-sleeping. Good Luck…it is so hard to be your best with little or no sleep.

  21. Jewels For Hope says

    Oh that sounds so rough. I am so sorry! I don't have kids, so I really don't have any advice- but I really hope everything works out and gets better. Good Luck!!! xx

  22. kharris says

    Have you had a sleep study done? A friend of mine, her 3 year old daughter would wake up screaming multiple times per night.. They went months trying to figure out why she was screaming and waking up… It was sleep apnea… She had her tonsils and adenoids out last Monday..

  23. jody cowan says

    I wish I had some good advice for you! My son is 13 and he sits up, talks, gets out of bed sometimes, but he's not awake. I have found that happens when he's more tired than usual. If I were you I would deffinately ask your doctor. Good luck!

  24. Ellen says

    I would definitely check with her pediatrician. You never know. Sometimes they think of things that we just haven't considered.

  25. Elizabeth @Our Life says

    I wish I had answers or any ideas to help, but I just wanted to encourage you! Hang in there, momma! It will pass – but I agree with the others, a visit with the pediatrician wouldn't hurt anything and maybe they have some ideas.

  26. Jenn/Organic Mama says

    My son went through something very similar around 2.5 years old. Our solution was to reintroduce co-sleeping – it worked like a charm and we were able to transition him back to his own room after just one week. It probably helped that he has a nightlight in his room, where our room is pitch black :)

  27. The Teachers Wife says

    Our son was exactly like that. All the way down to the emergency C-Section I had to be put under for! He used to get up 6-10 times a night totally sleep walking we assumed – even when crying. He would just show up in our room and stand there asleep, or poke us but the second we picked him up he was fast asleep again…for half an hour. It was tough – that's for sure! We went through it for about a year and things have tapered off a bit. He is now almost 5 years old and thankfully he hardly ever wakes up during the night. There was nothing that we found that helped – just a wonderful spouse who co-teamed with me and we did the best we could until he outgrew it. We tried a lot of different things, Melatonin, chamomile tea before bed, warm baths, full tummy, even a heating pad to sleep with. Kids are the darndest things sometimes. Just know it won't last forever and to take some extra time to rest when you can. Even if it's just hiding in your room for 5 extra minutes while the kids are playing!!

  28. RoryBore says

    my son did this too. we were so tired, eventually we just put a camping mattress on the floor of our bedroom and he was allowed to come in and go to sleep there if he was scared, or lonely, whatever….BUT he had to be quiet and go back to sleep. if he woke us up constantly, or played around, back to his room he went. And then, yeah, we had to just let him cry some nights. There does reach a point where you literally just cannot do anything for them anymore. They have to learn to resolve it on their own.

    gradually, the number of nights he was coming in to sleep on the camping mat grew less and less. I guess whatever assurance, or whatever he needed was resolved.

  29. Teresha@Marlie and Me says

    My daughter is 2.5 yo and we've had sleep challenges off and on. She doesn't adapt well to changes so when we travel or her daddy is out of town on business, we co-sleep. That being said, your daughter's sleep issues sound more troubling. I would take her to sleep specialist, not that her pediatrician wouldn't be helpful but they tend to just have general knowledge and quote books (one FORMER pediatrician told me to use the CIO method).

  30. JDaniel4's Mom says

    JDaniel didn't sleep for the first six months. It was really hard. He just grew into sleeping longer after that.

  31. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    We did cry it out w/ the boys, but it was at a very young age. Could you give her a special, new soft toy and tell her that it will protect her from scary things at night – that she can tell it when she is scared and hug it and it will make things okay?

  32. Our Little Corner says

    I haven't read the other comments but here are my ideas, just off the top of my head.

    If she's doesn't already have a sound machine/loud fan, night light or special night time toy… you might try some or all of those. Soft music may help her fall back to sleep on her own.

    Are you opposed to letting her sleep in your bed? Our kids end up in our bed for part of the night, almost every night. It's not a big deal for us but not for everyone..

    Are you and your husband switching nights/taking turns on who wakes up with her? If you two trade nights at least you know you'll get a good night's sleep every other night.

    Just a few thoughts. I hope things get better soon.

  33. Gumdrop Pass says

    Oh gosh, I don't know — I hope you find something that works soon. Sorry I couldn't be any help. I'll send positive vibe your/her way, though. <3

  34. Heather McDougle says

    I wish I had some good advice for you. We have never had any major sleeping problems except when sick. It looks like you have gotten a bunch of advice. I hope something works for you soon!

  35. Lollipops & Pig Tails says

    Are you sure you aren't at my house? My 3 1/2 year old is going through the exact same thing. Last night, it was 1:30, 3:30 and 5. I went in assured her she was okay, covered her up and put her back to sleep. The middle time, she was sitting on her night stand with her head on her pillow on the bed. She must have had a wild dream. We've gone through this before and it w as a phase that lasted about 2 months. I would like her in bed by 8:30 but if I keep her up until 10:30/11 then she doesn't wake like you said. I wish I had some advice but I am in the exact same boat. Our pedi said if she doesn't have ear aches, just call out to her and let her know she is okay. This proceeds into her calling back out to us and me going in there. Try a sound machine if you haven't already. It is the best $20 I spent on her sleeping.We have tried putting her in our bed but she still will wake up or talk out in her sleep. When we switched Hailey Grace to a bed, it took a while for a full nights sleep. We switched her at 18 months due to a move with work but it took forever to get her to sleep in the new bed. We tried a toddler bed, then a twin and finally ended up with a full size. She was rolling and moving so much during the night, she needed the extra room. But now at 3 1/2, she has no reason to be up!


    Oh, sorry, Melissa. That doesn't seem like any fun. William is a good sleeper, at least right now he is. So I don't know what to tell you on that. But yeah, seek a professional. See what they have to say. Seems like you got a lot of great advice from your other amazing blogger friends. Good luck! Hopefully, it's just a phase.

  37. Katie says

    OH man that's a hard one. I wish I knew what to tell you. My son (14 months) still does not sleep though the night so I am of no help to you. Good luck and remember to breath it will get better.

  38. The BOAT says

    This has probably already been mentioned in the above comments so I apologize for repitition….but are you sure it is not night terrors? I dont know much about them but do know that the child is not really awake and cannot be consoled during the terror and has no recolection of it in the morning. Does Hayley remember waking up in the morning? Does she tell you what is upsetting her?

    I'm not sure co-sleeping is the answer, because then you have another issue to deal with in a few months.

    I know with Owen (soon to be 5) if he falls asleep somewhere unknown (like the car or someone else's house) and then wakes up in the middle of the night somewhere else (normally he's okay in his own room, but not always) he freaks out until he gets his bearins. Do you think she's just uncomfortable in her own room?

    Have you tried seeing if she will cry it out and put herself to sleep? I know you are concerned with your son waking up so it might not even be an option.

    I would talk to Hayley and see if she knows why it happens….maybe it can be fixed with something simple like a lovie or nightlight.

    Good luck!

  39. Stacie says

    So sorry you all are going through this. I suspect you don't need the desperate measures we eventually used… but if it does get to that point we eventually found products to help. Sometimes their brains simply do not produce the right chemicals. First have you tried a high grade of L-Tryptophan? We got it from a pharmacy that mixed compounds. Eventually we had to move to Clonidine which drops the blood-pressure. We always include a little melatonin as well. Now, my husband and I no longer know how to sleep and are trying valerian root tea on ourselves. Unplug phones and turn off all lights in the house to make sure the whole environment is conducive to sleep.

  40. Nykki says

    I wish I had something to add, but we're not there yet. Olivia will wake up once or twice, but fall back to sleep without us going in. I hope some of the great advice above helps you all start sleeping well again! <3

  41. royalegacy says

    With six children, we never had a problem with night terrors. We always, and I mean always, made sure that the kids would always see some funny cartoon before going to bed. We would always watch this cartoon with them, and laugh along with them. I guess that is why I am still into the cartoon thing. Laughter is the best medicine in all things. Oh, and we always made sure the kids were tired when they went to bed, and had a nightlight on. Hope she starts sleeping better.

  42. Retail Therapy Lounge says

    My almost 4 year old just started this with some nightmares – but it is only 1-2 times a week, we just put her in bed with us before she wakes up her sister. I think it is pretty common but maybe ask your dr just in case there is something to be dealt with!

  43. Sarah [] says

    With 42 comments and counting, I have not read through them all and not sure if you want more thoughts and opinions. You have read my blog enough, you know we sleep trained Braden with SleepEasy. They have wonderful tips for all ages of children…I know you said you did it already, but I would completely eliminate that nap. At her age she still needs about 10 solid hours of straight sleep (according to the book)…I have no other tips, but if you want…just email me and I will look up what they recommend in SleepEasy. It is NO FUN dealing with no sleep, no matter what age the child is! Good luck!

  44. Sarah [] says

    I agree with the CIO as it works for us…give her a chance to settle herself. If you are worried about Zane, get a white noise machine for his room so he will not hear Hayley. Braden has a white noise since day 1 and he did not wake up when our fire alarm malfunctioned one night! Not everyone can do a version of CIO, or letting her settle herself…totally up to you!

  45. Jeremy, Censie and Jude says

    I am sure others have already said this but here is my advice -
    I do not have a 3 year old so I do not know this age well but with this continuing for 6 weeks I think a call or visit to the pedi isnt a bad idea.

    Since yo have little zane you cannot allow her to "CIO" so that is not a good option at this point.

    Maybe when she wakes up you do a check, tell her you love her and goodnight but keep a night light on and leave books in her bed. Maybe she could "read" herself back to sleep?

    I am sorry you are having so many sleep issues. I wish you a full nights sleep tonight! Fingers crossed!!

  46. Ashley S says

    Oh wow, I'm sorry I don't have any advice. My son is a sleeper (knock on wood!), but I wish you the best of luck in finding an answer!

  47. Kevin L says

    How about anything to do with lighting? I know this sounds funny but I have been hearing alot lately about melatonin and sleep. If there is any type of light regardless if its street light or a bright nightlight it disturbs the bodys ability to create melatonin naturally which helps us fall asleep and remain asleep. They say if you have a bright nightlight to perhaps get one of those green dim ones or closing any drapes or anything that adds additional light. Also heard of having something that gives a hum in the room, just a slight hum and it may help such as an air purifier.

    Just a few of my thoughts from a guy that has no children lol.

    Anyhoo I wish you the best of luck.
    Kevin @ Linkies Contest Linkies

  48. kewkew says

    Oh my, I also do not have any advice. Tabitha, my 5 yr old, wakes up once or twice almost every night with bad dreams, but she will come and get me, have me walk her to her bed and tuck her back in and go right back to sleep. I am not sure what we are going to do in a couple of weeks, because after the c-section this is not going to be so easy.
    Now one thing I know helped her not get all freaked out is that we leave the bathroom light on, which is right outside her room. I myself have to sleep with some sort of light on or I have anxiety attacks. So I can understand her not wanting it dark. Hubby also is like this for different reasons. So we don't expect our daughter to sleep in the dark. But that is just our situation.Sorry I can't be of help.

  49. Tamara Wilson says

    Mine went through that about that age, I think it could be part of growing pains, molars or something like that.

    Also she is at the age where she don't want to miss anything so staying awake and waking helps her be in the know. Even though we both know there is nothing to know at those times.

    I got some lavender spray put it in a neat bottle and called it sleepy time spray and told them that it helped their minds relax so they could sleep it took a few nights then it started working.

    Good Luck I know a mommy with no sleep is not a good thing (hugs)

  50. Amy says

    Aww, I am sorry to hear this, I have no advice for you since my daughter is only 11 months and we have not experience anything like that…yet. I am glad you posted though because it looks like you received lots of advice from experienced mommas!!

  51. Heather from Our Girls Keep Us Moving says

    You have lots of advice to sort through. I am so sorry that you're going through this and I am going to send you an email with my suggestions. I really hope it gets better for you and know that I am thinking of you and saying prayers for sleep for all.

  52. Sharisse Lopez says

    My daughter wakes up every night because she has to use the bathroom. She knows not to pee the bed so she wakes up, but she still doesn't know why she's awake for a few minutes. I used to think ti was a nightmare and hurry her back to sleep only to be woken up again a few moments later. Now I know and just take her to the potty and back to bed and it's night-night for everyone.

  53. Cheerful Homemaker says

    Some kids just want to be near their parents. If you aren't comfortable with co-sleeping you could try placing her mattress on the floor in your room.

  54. Maria says

    melissa, i'm so sorry to hear that hayley's having trouble sleeping. and that you and greg aren't getting much either.
    it's so great to see all these comments with helpful tips for you!! i wish you all lots of luck and much happy sleep in your future.
    i'm not the best at sleep advice…since i'm a vampire ;)

    thinking of you <3

  55. Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse says

    My oldest was a coliky baby and a terrible sleeper until he was about 20 months but like a year when he was about 3 he would wake up screaming and kicking a couple times a night. And like you I was afraid he was going to wake up the other child. He still does this every once in awhile. I would do everything to try and wake him up. I stand him up and try to get him to walk to the kitchen and get a drink of water, if he is out of it and can't walk I carry him and he will usually wake up take a sip of water and go back to sleep. I will turn on his night light tuck him back into bed and most of the time he would be good. Hang in there and hope it gets better soon.

  56. Raycillient says

    Hi Melissa, I had a friend in France that had the same problem with their little girl who was 3 at the time and she would wake up in the middle of the night and crying and once the parents came in her room and comfort her for her while she sleeps again till morning and this has been going on for a year or so until they meet with a psychologist and found out that she has been repeating the night wakes just so she get attention from her parents coz she didint get mommy and daddy time during the day coz both of them are working during the day and suprisingly weekends she slept through the night. Could be that having another baby makes her not ready for the transition yet and wants mummy and daddy time more for herself at this point. And what they did is they co sleep with her for a while as sudgested by the psychologist and after a few weeks she was back to sleeping on her own and no more night wakes. So co sleep is not such a bad idea at all :)

  57. Andrea says

    OMG…I unfortunately have no advice but good luck and I really hope you can get some sleep soon!

  58. Kourtenay says

    My 7 yr old used to have a similar issue. We got him a night light and left the hall light on, so when he DID wake up, he wasn't afraid of the dark. He'd climb into our bed, fall back to sleep and I would wake up and carry him back in his bed. We didn't mind him coming in our bed..however, he thrashed a lot so STAYING there wasn't fun for the hubs OR me. I recall this all happened AFTER we transitioned him into a big boy bed. He wasn't fascinated with the "big boy bed" or anything associated with it AT all.

    There's just something about still wanting to feel like they did when they were a baby.

    Additionally, eating before bed can cause bad dreams that wake them up. I also wonder since she had colic if she could have any food allergies you may not be aware of. Maybe her tummy is hurting and getting up is the only way to get the gas to move or get relief??
    But if she is trans-like, be sure her room is "gated off" so she can't sleep walk throughout the house.

    Good luck hun..being a sleep deprived mom is SO hard.

  59. Megan Stilley says

    Have you tried re introducing the nap? Maybe she is overtired and having sleep issues because of that? Good luck!

  60. Anne says

    Sounds tough to deal with. My son woke up in the middle of the night and came in our room almost every night until he was 6, we just let him climb into bed with us and went back to sleep. So I guess you can take some comfort in the thought that this won't last forever, even if it seems like now.

  61. Heather says

    We started giving my 5 year old a small dose of melatonin at bedtime – but it doesn't work to keep him asleep, only to put him to sleep, so I don't think it will help with your issue – although it would help your daughter go to bed earlier – we've set bedtime for 8:00 PM so we give Liam his 'special drink' at 7:30 so he's ready to head to bed… my only other thought is to definitely check with the pedi…

  62. blogunteer says

    I sympathize! My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. We started having shifts…one of us would go sleep in the bedroom all night and the other would be the one to get up. When one of us really needed sleep (important meeting at work, getting sick, etc) – we would sleep in separate rooms and only one parent would have the baby monitor by them. That at least gave us some sleep – not every night but it worked better than both of us always getting up. You don't mention talking to her doctor about this…maybe that would be good too. Good luck!

  63. pinkoddy says

    What do you do with her to stimulate her in the day? Does she get a lot of one to one time with you? Sounds like she had a traumatic start so may need some reassuring attachment wise. I would advise making sure she has a nap but early in the day – as overtiredness can be a problem. I also agree with the earlier comment of trying co-sleeping. Best of luck – lack of sleep can be awful for parents.

  64. Angela says

    Lordy, bless your heart! I bet you are at your wits end. I would check with my pediatrician as others suggest, just to be sure it is nothing medical. I never really had this problem and was very lucky. My daughter did have colic for about the first 2 months after she was born and I was sleep deprived myself, but after that she always slept through the night. My son slept through then night since he was a week old.

    They both slept with us for about the first year after each was born, which I don't recommend doing at all. I say this because it was always hard transitioning to they're own bed after that. But that's a personal thing for you and your husband to decide. Do you think she is afraid of the dark or something? Is there a night light in her room. I always played soft music in my children's room at night time and they loved it and always fell asleep quickly.

    Best wishes to you!


  65. LOVE MELISSA:) says

    I just wanted to give a personal thank you to each one of you. I not only read your responses once, I have read them almost every night and have been jotting down notes to help me along. If I can give each of you a hug, I would. Thank you!!!