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Postpartum Depression!

I recently had a friend call me crying hysterically. When I asked her what was wrong, her response was “Everything is wrong.”  I asked her to try to delve into what was really bothering her, and it all seemed to  relate to how unhappy she was after she had her second baby.  Now, let me preface by saying that she has a 4-year-old boy and never felt a tinge of sadness after having her first baby. This was all new territory for her and she came to me, because as most of you know, I am all too familiar with PPD, or Postpartum depression.
Do you happen to remember when I told you my PPD story? Well, if you don’t let me recap it for you by telling you the year after Hayley was born was the worst time of my life. Sure, I had a cute newborn who loved to snuggle with her mommy, but this really meant nothing to me. I was sad…I was anxious… I was losing it every second of every day. I remember when my husband would come home, and I would just give him Hayley, and retreat to my bedroom in hysterics. I remember my husband asking me what was wrong and I just kept telling him, to leave me alone! Anytime anyone tried to make me happy, it ended up doing the reverse. I had all the signs of postpartum depression but at the time, I had no real clue that postpartum depression existed. I never made the call to the doctor to seek help. I thought it was just a typical case of the baby blues, but it was so much more than that. I know this now.
I ended up losing 20 pounds of weight that I did not need to lose, since I was simply not eating. It was not  a choice I made to stop eating, but I had zero appetite. I also developed a serious bout of insomnia. I didn’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time for weeks on end. When people asked how I did it, my answer was usually, “You get used to not sleeping.” However, over time, with lack of sleep, you begin to really break down. Your body needs 7-8 hours of sleep for a reason. I also had zero energy or motivation. A good part had to do with me not sleeping, but the not having any energy to do anything in my life was devasting to me. I am a very avid tennis player and had no interest to even go hit the balls with my friends. I just wanted to creep into bed and sleep for days at an end. It was really no way to live.
Along with all these symptoms, I had mood swings to the nth degree. I remember being angry one moment, sad the next, anxious, and then repeat, like a washing machine cycle. I never knew when I was going to have a good day. It was so hard to be around me because I was like a ticking bomb waiting to go off. I would not seek treatment. I am a stubborn person, probably one of my greatest weaknesses is attributed to my stubbornness.  I did manage to finally start living as a person again and the PPD went away but it took a long time. I vowed to myself if I ever had any kids, I would seek treatment right away. Luckily, I had not had any problems with Zane but if I had, I would go for help at the first sign of problems.
So, when my friend called and cried for me all night, I listened. I told her that although she didn’t have PPD with the first, there was no saying that she wouldn’t experience it with second child. She admitted to me that she was afraid to seek treatment but after speaking to me, she would call the doctor. I am happy to report she made the right decision and is on the course to being happy again.
*This is a partnered post. All my opinions are my own and not swayed by outside sources.

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Comments

  1. I've also been through PPD and it is no fun. Great advice, if I didn't have my friends to listen to me it would have been much harder.

  2. One of my closest friends suffered from PPD. Since I didn't experience it myself, I was at lost on how to help her 🙁 All I could do was encourage to seek help. Luckily she did and is very happy today! I think moms just need to remember they are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with seeking some help 🙂

  3. I suffered with PPD after my second son. I always say that I don't really remember much about his first year of life because of the PPD! I just remember him being a happy, contented child and he loved to sit in his bouncy seat. I wish someone had been close enough to me at that time to help me realize what was happening and have me get help. Thankfully, we made it through safely.

  4. Thanks for this honest and open post. I haven't had to deal with PPD but I can only imagine with how bad I was with just baby blues that I would have crumbled with PPD. Thanks for being so strong and so brave to bring awareness to this very serious concern.

  5. I have never dealt with PPD, I have dealt with depression however. I know it can be hard, but you are such a good friend! She will thank you for being with her later on. 🙂

  6. I have suffered with severe depression on and off since I was a teen. It is really hard to function when you feel hopeless. Fatigue, body aches and just lack of energy. I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance at age 14 (not bipolar tho) I would not be able to distinguish PPD with the depression I fought off and on all my life because It seems to be the norm for me. Glad your friend got help and you were able to be there for her as a support, at least she was not alone. I currently am still on an antidepressent and see a physician routinely still.

  7. I was more emotional after my second child was born and it was definitely hormonal. Its such a horrible experience not being able to control your thoughts and emotions! My heart goes out to all moms who suffer from PPD!

  8. PPD is very serious and most moms don't realize that it can happen to anyone, even if you didn't suffer from depression pre-baby. Thanks so much for sharing your story! I'm sure it's helped others.

  9. I suffered with PPD with my second daughter as well. I went to the doc over it cause I had some CRAZY thoughts. Like I wanted to literally get in the car and just drive… and not come back. It was sad and scary at the same time. Thankfully I knew that wasnt "normal" (or wasnt RIGHT anyway, I think PPD is becoming more and more the "norm") and got help. Within a few days I was a whole new person.

  10. I am so glad you are sharing this. I think there are probably a lot of moms out there who are scared and wondering what is wrong with them. I am so glad doctors are taking this illness much more serious these days.

  11. Thanks for sharing your story 🙂 I think it was so awesome and may help others! Good luck to your friend.

  12. I had a touch of it with my first. Can't imagine having it full blown. Thanks for sharing.

  13. I did not go through this, thankfully, and I cannot imagine going through it! You are one strong mama!! THank you for sharing your story! xoxox

  14. With having six children, I never was afflicted with PPD. I feel very lucky. Thanks for this excellent read.

  15. PPD really is awful. I know mine didn't last very long, but it is so hard with no support system. She is SO lucky to have you! <3

  16. I went through PPD too. My husband couldn't understand and at first neither me .I just knew i had this baby that I didn't know if i wanted. I wouldn't ever hurt her I knew that and if it ever got to that point I would have my husband take care of her. After about 2 weeks it went away but that first week was the worst .Another baby and another baby and now another . I knew after 4 days what was going on .Thank God I had read about this topic before but i never thought I would go through it .

  18. This brings back so many memories. My PPD has hindered me from having another child. I let it take over my life and I didn't have anyone. Glad your friend has someone to support her, to listen and not to judge.

  19. I had post partum psychosis. I was going crazy. I can relate and I feel her pain. She is lucky to have you. <3

    Lee

  20. I didn't have PPD, but know of someone who did. It is really scary and makes me nervous to think it could happen to me. Glad to know there is some support out there.

  21. PPD is so hard. I had it after the twins and there were times the first 6 months I didn't know how I'd get through. Your friend is lucky to have you!

  22. I can relate – I had it bad too after my 1st child. all you can do is be there for your friend and love on her! 🙂

  23. It's a scary thing, it must have felt nice for her to have such a great friend to confide in!

  24. It's so important to talk about post-partum depression and raise awareness about it. Thank you for sharing your story with us. ((HUGS))

  25. Your words bring back so many, many painful memories of my own experience. I was so much like you- stubborn and afraid to admit I had a problem. I wish I would have asked for help. I never like to talk about it, because it's like opening an old wound. I feel like I missed out on so much those first few months. I applaud you for being there for your friend.

  26. You sound like a great friend. I'm so glad you recovered from your ppd and are able to pay it fwd. 🙂

  27. With my friend I had PPD really bad for about a week I cried over EVERYTHING. I would drop a pen a cry…every picture I looked at I would cry. With our second I didn't have it at all.

  29. I've never met a person suffering/suffered from PPD. I'm so glad you recovered.

  30. This is one of my hot buttons! Ever since the Tom Cruise/ Brooke Shields debacle the topic irritated me (and I boycotted Top Gun for YEARS over it). I truly believe that every woman goes through SOME form of "baby blues" at some time. The fact that there are so many naysayers makes it hard for people to come forward and to seek help. There is a sort of shame associated with it for some reason which is completely absurd. If you take everything a woman goes through while carrying and DELIVERING a baby and couple that with lack of sleep and giving up your life for another PERSON, how could you NOT go through some form of depression?! And did I mention HORMONES…? Okay…I'm off of THAT soapbox, but good for you for sharing your story for those who may be hesitant to ask for help and how great that your friend has someone like you to turn to in her time of need! It sounds like she is on the road to recovery as are so many others thanks to the fact that you were brave enough to embrace this topic and to share your personal experience with it!

  31. I'm so glad this is talked about these days. It pains me to think of all those people who had to suffer in silence years, and decades ago when it was taboo to even talk about these sorts of things. Thank you for telling your story. This helps people.