#Moms- How many kids do you want? How did you decide?
This past weekend, my husband and I went out to dinner. We vow not to talk about the kids when we have time to ourselves but inevitably our discussions always revolve around the kids. I am sure you can relate if you have kids. Our discussion led way back to the time we were in Hawaii, and were thinking about having baby #2. Hawaii came up because we are currently in the mist of planning our second trip there at the end of April. We are taking a cruise and we were booking some excursions on the boat. Then suddenly out of my mouth came, “So, are we going to try for baby #3 in Hawaii.” Our son, Zane, was conceived in Hawaii so my mind instantly led to that thought and off went my diarrhea of the mouth. I am relentless when I have a thought and want my husband to agree.
I will state for the record- I am not going to come back pregnant from this vacation. I know you are thinking that I will be saying that from the remarks above, but no this is not the case. The fact is I do not want more kids right now at this point of my life. Couple that with the fact that I will have some children up my backside the whole Hawaii trip, and you will see that becoming pregnant will never happen on this vacation.
However, I have a personal dilemma. Perhaps you could relate and if so, I would love some input. My husband is set with having two kids. His logic is we have two healthy children, a boy and a girl, so what more can we ask for in our lives. When I was telling my best friend about what he said, she tended to side with him. He feels that having an extra child will be more than we could handle both financially and physically. He also is slightly scared of having that child #4 at the same time, since twins are so prevalent in my family. Both sets of my grandparents were twins so there is definitely a genetic link in this case. But I have to say – I really want another child!
While I don’t want another child this year and perhaps not even next, I do want that third child. I actually long for that third child. Yes, I know, you are probably asking me- How can you want a third, if you really didn’t want a second. I blogged previously about my fear of having a second because Hayley was a TERROR as a baby. However, Zane rolled around and he assured me that all babies are not as difficult as my Hayley was. While Zane is one of the easiest babies around, I also know that we will not be guaranteed an easy baby if we go for a third. I do now believe though that I would be more prepared if we were presented with the challenges of raising another colicky infant. Having a second child to me, was so much easier than bringing my first child in the world. My whole mentality and outlook at raising the second child was more scaled back and relaxed. I think if we brought a third beautiful baby in the picture, I would be emotionally ready.
So, the real problem I foresee in the future: My husband is completely done with having kids. I don’t feel done at all- I want to go through pregnancy again! I want to have a squishy newborn again! I want a third child! My question for all my readers is: Can you relate to my dilemma? Did you and your husband see eye-to-eye on how many kids you would like? What was the outcome? How did you know you were done?