Okay here this post goes and if you are one of the parent judgers, I advise you to quickly step away and to not to continue to read. You have been warned!
Before I had kids, I was known on a time or two to judge what other kids were doing in front of their parents. For example, if we went to a restaurant and I saw a little boy having a temper tantrum, I instantly thought “why doesn’t that parent control that kid!” I was young, naive, and most of all SANS kids at the time! When I look back at this time of my life, I was completely wrong. While I think it is wrong that I judged, I do give myself a free pass that day because I really did not know what it was like to actually raise kids.
Than Zane and Hayley were born and my world was turned upside down! I realized very quickly that my adorable three-year-old would be the one at the restaurant having a full out temper tantrum and I would be getting those dirty looks that I gave on that one occasion. While I typically don’t really care if those looks are from people without kids, I get SUPER annoyed when I see parents of young ones giving me those dirty looks while their kids eat a peaceful peanut butter and jelly sandwich in peace and quiet.
As we are parents, we should know better than to judge other parents’ parenting skills. Just because my kid is having a tantrum and I am finishing up my half of sandwich before rushing him out the door, does not make me a bad parent. Kids have tantrums and it is a fact of life. We try our best to eliminate them but truth be told, tantrums happen all the time. I don’t need the lady at the next table rolling her eyes at me, trying to make me feel like I am a bad parent. This is all sorts of wrong!
One situation occurred last week that particularly got me riled up! I was at a music class for Zane when he started whining heavily. While the whining is not unusual for him, what happened next is. The lady next to me had the audacity to turn to me and ask, “Does he ever stop whining?” I turned to her with a very serious face and said not really. While I was partially kidding, I wanted to see the look on her face when I said this. You should have seen my color- beat red! Smoke was coming out of my ears…
She then proceeded to ask me, how I make him stop. I saw that she had an adorable three-month-old cradled up with her and while a three month old is a lot of work, they do not whine. Since she was asking for my honest opinion, I told her that I ignore his behavior. I told her that if he is whining, I let him go along whining unless something is wrong. Most of the time he just wants to be held 24/7 and with a three-year-old, this is not always feasible. She turns to me and says, “Well, I think you need to attend to his whining more!” I felt like leaving the class but I stood the duration and proudly continue to go to the class week after week. I secretly hope Zane whines so it pisses her off! How wrong is she to judge me for not making my kids stop whining. Come back to me in a few months and tell me how you handle the whining, if you are so blessed with a whiner.
Parents need to learn that we all have different ways to handle parenting. The minute I became a parent all my judgements went out the window. I realize we all have difference ways to handle parenting, and I fully understand and appreciate that. Parents should not judge, but alas it will continue to happen unfortunately. So I ask you, have you ever been in a situation like this? Have you ever been judged? How did you handle it?